I forgot to brush my teeth before going to work today. I realised when I was sitting down at my desk that something was wrong. I slid my tongue over my front teeth and they felt slimy. And then it dawned on me – I left for work without brushing my teeth. I didn’t have time to put makeup on this morning and I always brush my teeth before I put makeup on, so I just skipped brushing my teeth by accident. I’m so hyper-aware of it now.
Are people at work going to think that I don’t visit the family dental clinic in Bayside every other month? Will there be rumours that I have bad hygiene? I think I might have to take a sick day and actually go home from work. I’m so embarrassed. I’m so conscious of the fact that my breath absolutely stinks and I don’t have any emergency gum left on my desk. Alright, that’s it, I’m going home.
When I get back to work tomorrow I’ll have to make up some excuse about how sick I felt and that it was making my whole body a bit disgusting. I’ll also drop into the conversation about that time I got Invisalign – and by the time I mean the three years I had invisible braces on. I’ll ask everyone else about their orthodontics history, and quiz them on how often they brush their teeth. I’ll make sure to subtly scold the people that only brush their teeth twice a day, and drop into conversation that I brush my teeth upwards of four times a day.
I hope my coworkers don’t think I’m disgusting. I’ve spent years creating a good reputation with the people that I work with, but you know how workplaces are, a good reputation can be broken in milliseconds. I promise everyone reading this that I brush my teeth every day, it was just a terrible slip of the mind this morning!