To My Nemesis

It has really come to this, eh? Just you, me and all the plumbing supplies I can find. That’s right, I know you’re reading this, Mr Millon. When we first met at the Supervillain Training Academy, I thought we could be friends. Like, really good friends. Best friends, even. I should have known we were destined to become fierce rivals after you sabotaged my experiment at the science show. Instead, I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you stabbed me in the back again. Not cool. No, not cool at all.

If somebody had told me that six years from that day when you took everything from me, I would be walking into a Hampton hardware store to buy the supplies needed for your demise, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. It has only been after years of our back and forth battles that I have realised you will never be my friend. And so, Mr Millon, I must destroy you.

Before I go on, can we take a moment to think about how stupid your supervillain is? Mr Million? Really? That doesn’t inspire fear in anybody. You literally just took Miller, your last name, and changed the last two letters to make it more unique. I told you to take Evil Names 101 in first year, but you were too busy setting my backpack on fire to listen.

I took that class and came up with an awesome supervillain name. And you know what else? Andrew Dimitrov, our tutor, also told us where to get the best plumbing supplies around Cheltenham. That might seem like a really random and useless detail, but it’s certainly coming in handy now. You will not be able to withstand the awesome might of my hardware supplies, once set up in the proper manner.

Soon, I will have the ultimate water gun which I can use to destroy you. That’s right, I know your weakness: water. I guess you really shouldn’t have chosen electricity as your supervillain power. 

– Dr Dark McBane