Owl Be Damned

I’ve been up all night dealing with that blasted owl. On the upside, I’m pretty sure I’ve undone the nasty hex that’s been hanging over my modem once and for all – all it took was arranging a circle of salt around the owl before offering a saucer of milk to the ether. If I’d known it was that simple, I’d have sorted this out days ago, but there you have it.

Granted, there’s a bit more to encircling an owl with salt than you might think. They know what’s up, see, and this owl was very resistant to budging on its determination to hex my household internet connection. I may never know who put him up to it, but I do know (now) that keeping an owl in position while you’re trying to mess with its attempts to mess with you is no walk in the park. That’s why it took all night.

In the end, I had to enchant a mouse to distract the owl, which I didn’t feel great about. But hey, we’ve all got to eat – even modem-cursing owls. In all honesty, I don’t really think it’s possible to distract an owl, but I think he appreciated my convenient healthy food delivery and made the decision to throw in his plot to impede my workflow.That makes sense to me. I could certainly have done with someone bringing me a tasty tidbit while I was slaving away with the salt circle. When you have a more, let’s say, human-friendly diet, food delivery at 2:30 in the morning is a bit more complicated than simply enchanting a passing rodent to offer itself up as a snack.

I can’t imagine anyone would have been up for making me a nutritionally complete, low carb korma and dropping it off at the side gate, unless they were running a 24/7 delivery joint. But now that my modem’s back on, the possibilities are endless.