Incessant Nattering

Do you want to know what top three favourite things are? No? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway. First, morning coffee. Second, taking off my shoes after they’ve been on all day. Three, listening in on my flatmate’s loud phone conversations every evening. Except that, for the third one, it’s opposite day.

To put it another way, I’m completely done with Josephine’s incessant nattering. I wouldn’t mind if she was talking to someone face to face (me, perhaps), and if she wasn’t virtually shouting the mundane details of her life at her hapless listener. Maybe she’s talking to family in Switzerland, but if that was the case, wouldn’t she be speaking French? Also, if she had something halfway interesting to say, it’d go a long way.

Today, for example, she was just going on and on about the weather. The high point, for me, was when I heard her exclaim that she thought Australia was supposed to be warm, and that she’d have to escape to a hyperbaric chamber. Melbourne not being below sea level, I’m not sure what purpose she thinks receiving medical-grade oxygen therapy would serve in addressing the city’s ambient temperature. But hey – whatever works.

To be fair, English isn’t Josephine’s first language, so perhaps she got the wrong end of the stick somehow about hyperbaric medicine is for. Actually, I know what’s happened, I think. My friend Dave was over last night, and he artfully shoehorned a snippet about his grandmother’s diabetic ulcer treatment into a story about his recent snowboarding trip. I guess Josephine made a connection between snow and oxygen therapy.

I wonder what she thinks hyperbaric chambers are, though. Maybe something along the lines of an infrared sauna? I guess it’s not insanely far off the mark – just a highly inaccurate use of terminology. Both things are basically small chambers designed for purposes of health and wellbeing.

Regardless, I’d much prefer if she didn’t go on at the top of her voice about it.