Dull Equals Boring

Is there anything worse than a dull film? Good films are good, bad films are entertaining, but a dull film makes you wish that you could have those couple of hours of your life back. At least you can learn stuff from a bad movie. Dull movies teach you not to make dull movies, and that’s something you really should already know.

Z-Men: Narked Felix was a bust. I didn’t even think Felix was properly narked; just sort of crestfallen when he found out that his commercial glazier dreams were at an end because he was allergic to getting cut with broken glass. That’s not good for anyone, but if you work as a glazier then you really need to build up a resistance to the occasional scrape you may receive while replacing panes of glass. Not so with Felix. He was a glazier for all of one day, he nicked the end of his finger with a tiny glass fragment and had to be rushed to hospital after he broke out in hives.

I guess the films have built up his glazing ambitions over the course of the last couple of films, so there was some emotional impact when the doctor said that he recommends Felix stay away from any and all glass balustrades forever. But they brush it off and the rest of the movie is just Felix getting ‘narked’ (his actor screws up his face a little bit) while using his Z-powers to destroy the world, all as revenge for a glass allergy that he was born with.

Anyway, it’s as trite and predictable as you might think. The Z-Men try to stop him, Felix comes back to his senses, he explodes himself, and there’s a disappointing end credits scene.

Honestly, I feel for all those hardworking professionals who do glass balustrades installations. Melbourne Z-Men fans, being the way they are, are going to totally misinterpret them now, after seeing their area of expertise featured prominently in a film that’s a total bust. People will be like “did you see that movie where…” and it’s gonna be a huge pain. Just let them do balustrading stuff in peace, gosh.